I watched a small part of a great episode of super nanny last night and had to write.
My 3 year old is outgoing, active and very very very stubborn. It takes the wife and I 14 tries to get him into the car, to the dinner table, to get his shoes on, etc. He is on his own schedule and we are losing our patience. I am aggressive with him and will spank lightly, yell quietly (if there is such a thing) and of course the wife just blows a gasket. Turns out we are just creating more aggression and stubborness. Here is what to do.
1. Talk quietly: Kids get anxious and aggresive when we do it to them. We are the adults and should not be yelling, not be hitting and especially not be losing our patience. We are supposed to be quielty responding to their frustration or anger, which is supposed to calm them down.
2. Time Out: I am from the era when a good ass whoopin was in order, but I am not sure I believe that anymore. When I am aggressive with my son the only thing it teaches him is to be more mad at me and the world. And second, that it is ok to spank, hit, etc. It took a while but I honestly think my boy is more afraid of the time out or me taking away his favorite toy than anything. So now when he does something bad I sit him on a the steps for a time out.
3. Explain: I am a good communicator, turns out only with clients and friends and family. Three year olds need a good explanation to really get it. They are sponges and curious as to why the door has a handle and why the TV remote is not a phone or play toy and of course why he cannot dance on the counter while I am making breakfast. Explaining in detail the why and why not's of things seems real simple, but try it tomorrow. No raising your voice, no spanking or hitting or grabbing (as I have seen some parents do in public) and just explain it to them. I am seeing a difference already in only 1 full day of me acting like a caring adult and not a pissed off dad!
Make it a great day!
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